This kind of beauty came with a price. As of today I have the worst teeth you could imagine, all the acid "reflux" destroyed the enamel of my teeth...hence I no longer smile in photos. My metabolism after all that abuse has all but shut down. Now that I am in my forties it is even worse. My knees and hips always hurt from over exercising and burning away the cartilage from trying to be the right girl. My nail beds are covered in ridges from poor nutrician. Even on my best days I am always exhausted, but I try and push on. I still have issues eating in public to this day. Don't get me started on my feet...this is what they don't tell you...you lose too much weight it is also taken from the soles of your feet. That lovely cushy padding...mostly gone. Since then it has been just awful. I finally donated all my super skinny clothes...it was a painful reminder of my "perfect life" oh and not because I wasn't that thin anymore, it was because then by all appearances I was suitable to loved and or accepted....and today well not so much. People don't realize the damage they do by emphasizing beauty in childhood and young adulthood. I grew up feeling like a an accessory or a handbag..completely empty. So far my osteoporosis checks have come back ok over the years...oh yay another bonus health issues are starting frequent my body more... I am not too crazy about the me today, but it's a work in progress. So please don't take it the wrong way If I don't jump up and hug you for "pretty compliments" They mean nothing to me these days. I will admit that I still have a few looks left, and am happy for that. Life is difficult enough, but when you feel like a trick pony, it makes it just awful!
Thanks for checking out this post.
Cheers,
Stacy M. Frett
trying to figure out how to word this....I had no idea you struggled with any of that. It makes me mad that people who are supposed to love us put those kinds of pressures and standards on us as young women. Even now, just finishing my years as a young mom, I've seen the same thing. It makes me mad that someone would do that do you. Seeing the picture posted above, I'm sure I liked it and complimented it. I love costumes. I love your smile. It just goes to show that none of us really know what anyone else might really be going through. I like you and I think your self worth (and mine) has nothing to do with what we look like (or even how "good" or not good we act). We worth spending time with and being listened to, just because we are human. Hugs
ReplyDeletethank you for feeling brave enough to post this....
ReplyDeleteThank you soo much Alipurr and hugs to you to. I hope your kids never go through that ever!
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